"From Overthinking to Obedience"
Welcome back to Hope Now Lives Here! Im back with another blog and just to give context.. I’m going to share a little bit about the process leading up to the launch. So lets get into it!
Launching HNLH (Hope Now Lives Here) really exposed my patterns and habits. There were so many decisions that I had to make throughout this phase of the process, and it was overwhelming at times. I kept pushing my launch date back further and further until it was no longer in my plans but instead chilling out in my thoughts. I dreaded moving forward, it was so much overthinking and doubting myself.
Here are some examples of some thoughts I had to combat:
I don't have the time
I'm not sure about the blog name and I needed to go back and forth a million times until I'm sure
I don't feel like doing this, it doesn't make sense to launch now
How can I talk about hope in a time like this??
I'm not ready yet, I need to make sure everything is perfect. I need God to confirm it again and maybe one more time after that!
What will people think of me?
I have too much pride to start, I'm embarrassed to try.
This doesn't make sense, no one will understand.
Listennnn….
Overthinking can paralyze you in more ways than you can notice. It's never satisfied with one thing; it must slowly creep over into the next thought until it leaves you spiraling down to a place of uncertainty. It will bring you to a place of stagnation and waiting. Overthinking will allow you to step in place but without being fully present.
In the process of launching the blog, I found myself waiting. I was waiting on something that would never come… perfection. I couldn't perfect what I didn't start but I felt like I couldn’t start because it wasn’t perfect. I stayed in that cycle for a few months, stalling and prolonging my obedience.
I finally became so fed up with delaying and waiting, I started to make some changes. Truthfully, I can’t take much credit for the progress I’ve made, I like to think it was Isaiah 55:11 exploding in my life! I really had to keep rehearsing what God said to remind myself that I wasn’t alone in this! Remember I told you Hope Now Lives Here is about new perspective and seeing things God’s way??? Well, look at what happens when you really start to believe God and take on His perspective! God offered me counter thoughts to silence the thoughts from the enemy.
1. Whereas I feel I didn't have the time before, I begin to make changes in my daily routine to open more time. (Details coming later)
2. I decided. I decided that I am going with the name I have, that's it!
3. I kept meditating on and rehearsing what God told me.
4. What better time than now?!
5. I am ready to start because God said do it.
6. I can’t worry about that. I hid myself behind what God said about me
7. I humbled myself and kept moving, it’s embarrassing until it's not lol
8. Everyone may not understand but the right ones will!
At times the only motivation I had was the fact that I was tired of delaying obedience. I wanted to do this because God said so and that meant more to me than the doubts. I kept telling myself that although it might feel hard and daunting at times, it won’t always feel like this!!
God pushed me using His word and His people! I would prefer to say that it was a smooth and linear journey here but that would be the furthest from the truth. However, a more accurate picture would look like a lot of zigzags.
I’ve been in my head for years, never fully present so I find that it’s a challenge at times to find the words. It’s been extremely uncomfortable, but God is challenging those doubts I had about myself and my abilities. I know that what God challenges will be defeated because He always wins!
The purpose of sharing all of this, is to start a documentation of my journey for myself and for others who can relate.
Go back to what God said and start there. Maybe you have to recite what He said a million times to keep moving forward, do it! Keep pushing to do whatever God tells you, it’s going to be worth it!
